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Husband of the Year

Ole shared everything with his wife - even his work

Husband of the Year thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. - Milton Berle

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


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