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Husband of the Year

Ole shared everything with his wife - even his work

Husband of the Year thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look. - Mia Farrow

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


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