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Husband of the Year

Ole shared everything with his wife - even his work

Husband of the Year thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look. - Mia Farrow

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


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