#1 humor site on the 'net

Ice Fountain

Where not to drink on a cold winter day

Ice Fountain thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

When your tongue meets frozen metal

QuotaBills
Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Reason is not time only interpreter of life. The fountain of action is in time feelings. - Henry T. Tuckerman

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up if thou wilt ever dig. - Marcus Aurelius

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Redneck Estate Sale

Blonde Car Mirror

Corn Maze Warning

Lane Closure

Texting For Dummies

Clever Weather Billboard

Tree Huggers

Australian Construction Security

India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit

CheckMate

Ship Tow

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Costco Wine

Downer Parking