#1 humor site on the 'net

Lawntastic Scenery

Fancy lawn ornaments in Rock Springs, Wyoming

Lawntastic Scenery thanks to Glenna Kennedy

Lawntastic Scenery thanks to Glenna Kennedy

Lawntastic Scenery thanks to Glenna Kennedy

Lawntastic Scenery thanks to Glenna Kennedy

Lawntastic Scenery thanks to Glenna Kennedy

Lawntastic Scenery thanks to Glenna Kennedy

QuotaBills
A wounded deer leaps the highest. - Emily Dickinson

The mountains are calling and I must go. - John Muir

A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule. - Michael Pollan

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home. - Gary Snyder

Adopt the pace of nature. Her secret is patience. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. - Charles M. Schulz

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads. - Henry David Thoreau

Costumes and scenery alone will not attract audiences. - Anna Held

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt

I can see myself before myself - a being through dark scenery. - Dejan Stojanovic

Mountains are the beginning and the end of all natural scenery. - John Ruskin

Drive slow and enjoy the scenery. Drive fast and join the scenery. - Douglas Horton

When you're on a merry-go-round, you miss a lot of the scenery. - Neil Diamond

If anybody starts using me as scenery, I'll return to New York. - Grace Kelly

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. - C.E. Cowman

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery. - Walter Winchell

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

If dandelions were hard to grow, they would be most welcome on any lawn. - Andrew V. Mason

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

Books are no different from goats - they enjoy an afternoon out on the lawn. - Kate Bernheimer

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

In our progress towards the goal, we ever see more and more enchanting scenery. - Mahatma Gandhi

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

Who has not sat before his own heart's curtain? It lifts: and the scenery is falling apart. - Rainer M. Rilke

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. - Ramakrishna

The really happy person is the one who can enjoy the scenery, even when they have to take a detour. - James H. Jeans

I just want to make pictures that are entertaining. I'll leave the scenery chewing to someone else. - Alan Ladd

The key to a better life isn't always a change of scenery. Sometimes it simply requires opening your eyes. - Richelle E. Goodrich

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark

New Zealand was one of the most beautiful countries to drive through for the scenery and the vast scale of the place. - Louise Nurding

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Today was about chasing sun-rays, beach waves, and sunsets. All things beautiful that give you peace are worth chasing. Everything else isn't. - April M. Monterrosa


Atrophy Cure

Math Mug

Zidane Is Fast

Atheist Professor

Punctuation Matters

Shoes On The Danube Bank

Secondhand Vegetarian

Leading By Example

Plugged In

Stop Cutting Trees!

Nike Coffin

Busted

Bread Slice

Desert Soccer Fans

Sudoku Sampler B

Tight Fit Ship

Car for Saudi Women

Texting In The Old Days

Realism

Water Mask

Multi Task Dad

Sundae Sermon

Back Massage Track

Baby Sitting