#1 humor site on the 'net

Legal Grounds

Anyone for a Murderous Mocha or an Equal Rights Espresso?

Legal Grounds thanks to Karen Moore

Blending latte with legalese at fees that leave little room for dessert

QuotaBills
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


The Five Second Rule

Dinosaur Bowling

Aussie Gazpacho

Save The Hot Dog

Police Thieves

Russian King Kong

Texas Wheelchair

Nail Chair

Goat Hairstyle

Divorce Yard Sale

Awesome Brain

Months Apart

Young At Heart

Pointed Trampoline

Naughty Dog

NASCAR Wheelchair

Fihs Meal

Real Chicken

Aussie Grocery Shopping

Lightbulb Apprentice

Argentina Weather Stone

Wurst Humour

Car Pool Lane

Do Not Read Law