#1 humor site on the 'net

Legal Grounds

Anyone for a Murderous Mocha or an Equal Rights Espresso?

Legal Grounds thanks to Karen Moore

Blending latte with legalese at fees that leave little room for dessert

QuotaBills
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


Squirrel Gymnast

Economic Stimulation

Financial Meltdown

Redneck Tailgate

Marital Rating Chart - Wife

Mona Lisa - Behind The Scenes

Cultivator

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman

TP Safety

Crochet Shorts

Wine Bottle Recycling

Garden Outhouse

Alberta Winter Fridge

Wheelbarrow Wheelies

Redneck Deer Stand

Bucket Seat

Security Camera Setup

Smithton Stoneys

Hearse Parking

Just Saying Goodbye

Golden End of the Rainbow

Redneck Shower

Thank You For Driving

Debbie's Fridge