#1 humor site on the 'net

New Player

Premiere League Foosball with kick start option

New Player thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Foosball equivalent to a golf handicap

QuotaBills
Girl: A giggle with glitter on it. - Unknown

There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42. - WC Fields

I'm the girl who lost her reputation and never missed it. - Mae West

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman, and a pretty girl. - Charlie Chaplin

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. - Stephen Leacock

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

The ballet toe shoe is one of the few instruments of torture to survive intact into our time. - Unknown

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Maurice Chevalier

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

After all, inside every woman, no matter how grown up she is, there is still a frightened little girl. - Sergei Lukyanenko

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left. - Marilyn Monroe

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls. - Groucho Marx

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level. - Bob Hope

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off. - Rodney Dangerfield

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


Ponge Bob

Bright Bookshelf

Let That Sink In

Lifting Heavy Objects

Black Friday Scam

Camel Photobomb

Leaky Pipes

Teabucks

CreepEye

Open For Business

Face Frost

Sleeping Guests

Garmin Drive

This Rocks

The Fall Of Adam

Canadian Archaeology

Unknown Assailant

Undergarment Financing

Shear Dog

Facebook Africa

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Tomato Treat

Evaluating Something

Cat Milk