#1 humor site on the 'net

Nintendo Wedding Cake

Mario marios Princess Peach in the Mushroom Kingdom

Nintendo Wedding Cake thanks to Marian Fast

QuotaBills
Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Me writing about tennis is like a baker baking bread. - Ion Tiriac

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

Because the sweeter the cake, the more bitter the jelly can be. - Lady Gaga

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. - Jay Leno

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra

Polly had a gift for baking pies, and she poured her heart and soul into every one she made. - Sarah Weeks

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel

We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

It's very easy to confuse Sean Connery with James Bond. Sometimes in the entertainment industry, people believe the cake is more real than the baker. - Judd Nelson

Baking cookies is equal to Queen Victoria running an empire. There's no difference in how seriously you take the job, how seriously you approach your whole life. - Martha Stewart

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. - Dave Barry

A happy life is made up of little things - a gift sent, a letter written, a call made, a recommendation given, transportation provided, a cake made, a book lent, a check sent. - Carol Holmes

One's home is like a delicious piece of pie you order in a restaurant on a country road one cozy evening - the best piece of pie you have ever eaten in your life - and can never find again. - Lemony Snicket


Time To Hang Up The Thong

Our Grate Lord

Vertical Roller Coaster Ride

Girl's Party

Sleep Driving

Portuguese Airport Runway

Nintendo Wedding Cake

Going Nowhere Mall

Skateboard Suit

Texas Truck

Tailgate Coyote

Montreal Canadian Fan

Canadian Man Cave

Puffin Walk

Wine Gum Lamp

Stepladder Bike

Prison Escapee's Not-Quite-Clean Escape

Heh - That's My Ball!

Revenue Canada's Simplified Tax Form

Canadian Restroom Rules

Clever Man

Circular Residences - Roundabout Directions

Chicago Bears Win Stanley Cup

Loch-Risti Weather Forecasting Stone