#1 humor site on the 'net

Pilot Bike

When I grow up, I'm gonna be a Snowbird pilot

Pilot Bike thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. - Lord Kelvin

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G K Chesterton

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

Matt would be fantastic for New York if the Jets were lucky enough to get him. - Donald Trump

The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it. - J.M. Barrie

I'm paranoid about everything. On my stationary bike I have a rearview mirror. - Richard Lewis

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Nothing can move a man who is paid by the hour; how sweet the flight of time seems to his calm mind. - Charles D Warner

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

You're the guy that'll be sneaking out of your bedroom at three o'clock in the morning to look at your bike. - Paul Teutul

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

Southwest Airlines is successful because the company understands it's a customer service company. It also happens to be an airline. - Harvey Mackay

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


Bridge Uplift

Shark Steaks

Hippy Birthday

Heineken Meets Star Wars

Head Butt

Just Like Grandpa

High Heel Diver

Leading Edge Climber

Garden Gnome Soccer

Florence Time

Bird Trio

Chess Sudoku Puzzles C

I Want My Own Room

Fish Flops

Lip Gloss

Beer Pong

Canadian High Five

Kodak Moment

Third Fiddle

Clown Down

African Car Wash

Pointless

Hebrew Sudoku Puzzles A

Fowl Soccer Coach