#1 humor site on the 'net

Socket To Me

Watts with this guy?

Socket To Me thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Plugging into the right socket can be a heads up, enlightening experience

QuotaBills
Numb the dark and you numb the light. - Brene Brown

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Life is a rollercoaster. Try to eat a light lunch. - David A. Schmaltz

If I had a head like yours, I'd have it circumcised. - Dave Allen

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

Every day a piano doesn't fall on my head is good luck. - Meg Rosoff

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. - Irvin S. Cobb

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person. - Chinese Proverb

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

The head thinks, the hands labor, but it's the heart that laughs. - Liz Curtis Higgs

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffet

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

The best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little softer than your head. - Unknown

You do not lead by hitting people over the head; that is assault, not leadership. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. - Anton Chekhov

Confidence is like a dragon where, for every head cut off, two more heads grow back. - Criss Jami

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. - Edith Wharton

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

There are two kinds of light – the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures. - James Thurber

The goal was scored a little bit by the hand of God, another bit by the head of Maradona. - Diego Maradona

3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep... the other wants to know if penguins have knees. - Unknown

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

I think that most people would rather face the light of a real enemy than the darkness of their imagined fears. - Max Brooks

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. - Lin Yutang

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

You are a divine being. You matter, you count. You come from realms of unimaginable power and light, and you will return to those realms. - Terence McKenna

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan


Smoking Hot Body

Take Away Van

Emotion Stew

Appenzell, Switzerland

Holy Day Inn

Rising To The Occasion

High Wire Act

Sunday Drive in the Country

Cloud Swing

Playground Child Eliminator

The Joe-kster Working Out

Flipper Soccer

Superior Church

Redneck Auto Mechanic

Playground Drivers

Trunk Drinkers

Foamtastic

Pyramid Kiss

What Goes Round Comes Round

Mistaken Door

Cleanup

Leave Toes Outside

Google Age

Meat Loaf