#1 humor site on the 'net

Southern Emergency

I could be wrong, but judging by his hat, this guy ain’t gonna make it

Southern Emergency thanks to Bill Carter

QuotaBills
The flesh of your blood. - Archie Bunker

A pint of sweat saves a gallon of blood. - George S Patton

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

You can't squeeze blood out of a tulip. - Archie Bunker

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Always give 100%. Unless you're giving blood. - Unknown

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. - Winston Churchill

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

Whether we wound or are wounded, the blood that flows is red. - Eiichiro Oda

The more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle. - Unknown

Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type. - Phyllis Diller

The crimes of this guilty land will never be purged but with blood. - John Brown

The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets. - John D. Rockefeller

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Kind hearts are more than coronets
An simple faith than Norman blood. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

Man may be the captain of his fate, but is also the victim of his blood sugar. - Wilfrid G. Oakley

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever. - Donald Trump

The same hot lightning that burns your blood with passion–– cools your fears with peace. - Aberjhani

The plunge of civilization into this abyss of blood and darkness is too tragic for any words. - Henry James

The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

If leeches ate peaches instead of my blood,
then I would be free to drink tea in the mud! - Emilie Autumn

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin


One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life