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Twin Dish

New satellite TV system for pets

Twin Dish thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television. - Archie Bunker

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? - Al Boliska

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

I could never have imagined that firing 67 people on national television would actually make me more popular, especially with the younger generation. - Donald Trump


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