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A Mother's Day Special

Don't ignore your gut feelings!

A Mother's Day Special thanks to Kyle Ziegler

QuotaBills
Necessity is the mother of taking chances. - Mark Twain

I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. - Unknown

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. - Oprah Winfrey

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


Dawn Gone

Highest Human Position In The World

Together Since

You Never Call

CLUMSY Driver

Water Short

Post Research

Motorcycle Taxi

Columbia Street Party

Fly By Meal

Down Day

Hanging Out With Friends

You Want Me To Do What?

Mirror Lake

Kitchen Thing

Light Road

Coffee Spoon

Show Stopper

Water Judge

Litter of DalCations

Fitness On The Bus

Deluxe Peanut Butter Jam Sandwich

Neighbour's Fence

Smoking Hot Body