#1 humor site on the 'net

Attention Span

Parents - they can be so demanding

Attention Span thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Just try to restract his attention. - Archie Bunker

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Luck is largely a matter of paying attention. - Susan M. Dodd

He has the attention span of a lightning bolt. - Robert Redford

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

If you want to get my attention, wear a pirate outfit. - Michelle Branch

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

The simple act of paying attention can take you a long way. - Keanu Reeves

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

I have an attention span that's as long as it has to be. - Donald Trump

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

No man is lonely eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention. - Christopher Morley

Don't listen to their words, fix your attention on their deeds. - Albert Einstein

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention. - Jim Rohn

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say. I just watch what they do. - Andrew Carnegie

Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches. - Andy Warhol

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

The ability to focus attention on important things is a defining characteristic of intelligence. - Robert J. Shiller

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Never pay attention to what critics say. Remember, a statue has never been set up in honor of a critic. - Jean Sibelius

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother. - Booker T. Washington

The reason we are so pleased to find other people's secrets is that it distracts public attention from our own. - Oscar Wilde

One of the most wonderful things about life is that we must regularly stop what we are doing and devote our attention to eating. - Samuel Johnson

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

In this age of microblogging and two-second sound bites, almost no one has the attention span, or time, to read more than a few sentences. - Tim Frick


Easter Egg Drop-outs

Spring Sock Clearance

Kiss-ter Eggs

Easter Tree

Easter Identity Theft

Easter Preparation Down Under

Manitoba Spring

Easter Canceled

Easter Car

Resurrection Sermon

Purrrfect Disguise

Easter Style Stars

Jewrusalem

Easter Math

Easter Lost

Cold Easter in Europe

Jerusalem Obituary, 33 A.D.

Ottawa Senators Announcement

The Crucifixion

Driveway With A View

Reformed Buddhists

Coin Shopping

SwarchenEgger

Lighthouse Safety