#1 humor site on the 'net

Car Shower

Cooling off - 'weather' you like it or not

Car Shower thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience. - Dilbert

Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist. - Robert G. Allen

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. - Lily Tomlin

Worry is today's mice nibbling on tomorrow's cheese. - Unknown

I try not to worry about things I can't do anything about. - Christopher Walken

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

Love is something sent from heaven to worry the hell out of you. - Dolly Parton

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. - Leo Buscaglia

Success is having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money. - Johnny Cash

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strength. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The visionary leader is an optimist, for no pessimist ever made a great leader. - William W Francis

In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. - Jonathan Katz

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists. - Jean Rostand

An Irishman can be worried by the consciousness that there is nothing to worry about. - Austin O'Malley

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

I worry about scientists discovering someday that lettuce has been fattening all along. - Erma Bombeck

Concentrate on what you're doing - then you won't have time to tense up and worry. - Unknown

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

Don't worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. - Robert Fulghum

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

In the long run, the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. - Unknown

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

A man of character does not expect to be liked by everyone, nor does he worry about being liked by anyone. - Unknown

Lord, if it's not your will, let it slip through my grasp. And give me the peace not to worry about it. - Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. - James Branch Cabell

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine. - Jim Carrey

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying. - Dale Carnegie

My Dad once said, "you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did." - Dr. Phil McGraw

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be. - Paul Harvey

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


Behind Curtain Number One

One More Drop

Changing Priorities

Made His Bed

Dog Sled

Only In Canada - Nosey Moose

Camper Tank

Plane Pushers

Wise Electricity Use

Critter Control

Redneck Ice Fishing

Skeletons In The Closet

Captive Audience Twins

Brew Table

Nailed It Baby

Water Supply

Holding His Own Portraits

Hawaii Scuba Bus

Chicken Pie

Computer Challenged

Swiss Reaper

Original Play Station

Haunted Pancakes

No Neck