#1 humor site on the 'net

Eat Your Vegetables

Little Johnny looked forward to eating his vegetables

Eat Your Vegetables thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette

Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


iPhone Charger

Tube Travel

Redneck Tree Fort

OCD Guy

World's Tallest Bus

Long Liquor Store

Happy Wood Pig

On Top Of Things

Anail Retention

Bat Flight

The No Brainer

Truck Bender

Bacon Balls

Fast Closure

Ukrainian Feast

1934 Modern Home

Fliptus

Copper Tubing Specialist

Bach Off Van

Boss Resume

Canadian Gun Shop

Hogwart's Other Bridge

Excalibutter

As The World Turns