#1 humor site on the 'net

Fetch Stick

Bubba's hunting dog prefers sticks to ducks

Fetch Stick thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Stick it all right into that bank suppository. - Archie Bunker

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far. - Theodore Roosevelt

Writing is throwing spaghetti at a wall to see what sticks. - Kelly E. Lindner

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. - Mark Twain

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

Never touch your idols: the gilding will stick to your fingers. - Gustave Flaubert

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. - Josh Billings

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out. - James Bryant Conant

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Nicknames stick to people, and the most ridiculous are the most adhesive. - Thomas C Haliburton

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Give crayons. Adults are disturbingly impoverished of these magical dream sticks. - Dr. SunWolf

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

One day someone is going to hug you so tight that all of your broken pieces will stick back together. - Unknown

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

I really want to play Princess Leia. Stick some big pastries on my head. Now that would be interesting! - Ewan McGregor

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud. - Jesse Ventura

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours. - Eric Idle

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein

Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out? - Molly Harper

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; and third, common sense. - Thomas Edison

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Get Along Shirt

Rooftop Steps

It's Not My Job

Mathematician's Truck

Redneck Baby Stroller

Redneck Estate Sale

Blonde Car Mirror

Corn Maze Warning

Lane Closure

Texting For Dummies

Clever Weather Billboard

Tree Huggers

Australian Construction Security

India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit