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Game's On

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Reality – what a concept! - Robin Williams

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

Reality is frequently inaccurate. - Douglas Adams

Reality continues to ruin my life. - Bill Watterson

Legitimate reality (realty) company. - Archie Bunker

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

Love paid a price so hope could become a reality. - Susan Gaddis

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time. - Byron Katie

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television. - Archie Bunker

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. - Groucho Marx

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

People who urge you to be realistic generally want you to accept their version of reality. - Unknown

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

The reality of professional skateboarding contests is that they're not relevant in our world. - Rob Dyrdek

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

You could say that the paparazzi and the tabloids are sort of the assault weapons of the First Amendment. - Charlton Heston

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television. - Jack Nicholson

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality, and will never, therefore, make any progress. - Anwar Sadat

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


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