#1 humor site on the 'net

Glassman

Superman's early splat days

Glassman thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Never have children, only grandchildren. - Gore Vidal

One hour with a child is like a ten-mile run. - Joan B. Samuelson

I preferred sewing to bossing little children. - Martha Jones

I love children if they're cooked properly. - WC Fields

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

The man who has a full set of tools has no children. - Unknown

The best thing to spend on your children is your time. - Louise Hart

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Adolescence is the conjugator of childhood and adulthood. - Louise J. Kaplan

Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them. - Lady Bird Johnson

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

What you teach your own children is what you really believe in. - Cathy Warner Weatherford

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

The important things are children, honesty, integrity and faith. - Andy Williams

Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. - Neil Postman

Children see things very well sometimes - and idealists even better. - Lorraine Hansbury

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. - Jack London

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things. - Plato

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

A man who gives his children habits of industry provides for them better than by giving them a fortune. - Richard Whately

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

Inspiration comes unawares, from unaccountable sources that have nothing to do with planning or intelligence. - Maurice Chevalier

We ought to be doing all we can to make it possible for every child to fulfill his or her God-given potential. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. - Paula Poundstone

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. - WC Fields

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

Children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them, thus preserving the system. - Quentin Crewe

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet. - Randy Pausch

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

I've seen whales calving in the waters off Maui, and I've watched my children being born. But music is the most beautiful thing of all. - Steven Tyler

Most of what we object to as misconduct in children is a natural rebellion against the intrusion of an unimaginative adult despotism in their lives. - Floyd Dell


Topless Kate Middleton

Skype Hype

Almost Batman

Cadillac Bike

Donut Decadence

Manmade Beach in Japan

Bacon Bikes

Animal Taxi

Lego Key Holder

Mechanic Apprentice

Redneck Helicopter

Hairy Egg

Fork Door Handle

Making Hockey More Popular

Suitcase WorkPlace

One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders