#1 humor site on the 'net

I Want My Own Room

Little Johnny finds himself in the dog house again

I Want My Own Room thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

What ya do in the privates of your own room is your own privates. - Archie Bunker

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

You reached into my soul and rearranged the position of my bones,
You rebuilt my rib cage so your heart could be home. - Unknown

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain


Undergarment Financing

Shear Dog

Facebook Africa

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Tomato Treat

Evaluating Something

Cat Milk

Less Is More

Guitar Pool

Prehistoric Flash Drive

UniCorn

Puppy Circle

Wrong Planet

Scottish Weather Forecast

Chemical Solutions

Stealth Snake

Turn Into Lanes

Hair Weavers

WrenchWare

Missing File

Pumping Services

Coffee Morning

Social Media Explained

One Tough Lady!