#1 humor site on the 'net

Lettuce Face

Lettuce pray for what we are about to receive

Lettuce Face thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
So many horrid Ghosts. - William Shakespeare

Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Mind sees ghost when frightened and hopeless. - Toba Beta

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

The muses are ghosts, and sometimes they come uninvited. - Stephen King

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts. - Helen Stringer

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did. - L.M. Montgomery

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. - Unknown

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

I never really address myself to any image anybody has of me. That's like fighting with ghosts. - Sally Field

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

I wouldn't describe myself as lacking in confidence, but I would say that the ghosts you chase you never catch. - John Malkovich

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside


Clear View

Redneck Ladder

Home Depot Delivery

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Are You OK?

Downchuck

Rickshaw Workout

Tenacity

Annual Meeting of Women Drivers

Bach Flip

Alien Smuggling

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Teamwork

Sorry

Dunking Straw

Vatican Chess

Boot Camp

Hold On, Let Me Catch The Ball

Big Hands Baby

Fire Truck Sinkhole

Cyclist Mailbox

Tearable Puns

Penmanship

Tree Removal