#1 humor site on the 'net

Middle East Airlines

Airbus 'grounded' on maiden flight

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

This new Airbus 340-600, the largest passenger airplane ever built, sits just outside it's hangar in Toulouse, France, without a single hour of airtime on the clock...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Enter the Arab flight crew of Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies (ADAT) to conduct pre-delivery tests on the ground, such as engine run-ups prior to delivery to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi. The ADAT crew taxied the A340-600 to the run-up area...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Then they took all four engines to takeoff power with a virtually empty aircraft. Not having read the run-up manuals, they had no clue just how light an empty A340-600 really is...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The take-off warning horn was blaring away in the cockpit because they had all 4 engines at full power. The aircraft computers thought they were trying to take off, but the flaps/slats had not been configured properly...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Then one of the ADAT crew decided to pull the circuit breaker on the Ground Proximity Sensor to silence the alarm. This fools the aircraft into thinking it is in the air...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The computers automatically released all the brakes, and set the aircraft rocketing forward - with the following result...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technology crew had no idea that this is a safety feature so that pilots can't land with the brakes on.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Not one member of the seven-man Arab crew thought to throttle back the engines from their max power setting, so the £200 million aircraft crashed into a blast barrier, totalling it.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown due to the news blackout in the local media.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Finally, the photos are starting to leak out.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

£200 million aircraft meets wall. Wall wins.

QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. - Lord Kelvin

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

As your runway of life gets shorter, the lighter the load. - Joe Segal

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Disappointments are to the soul what thunderstorms are to the air. - Johann C. F. von Schiller

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it. - J.M. Barrie

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

Nothing can move a man who is paid by the hour; how sweet the flight of time seems to his calm mind. - Charles D Warner

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?" - Robin Williams

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people. - Franklin D Roosevelt

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


Croc Diet

Pulley Car

Hotel Annex

Beetle Collection

Egg Timer

Shell Sink

Wicked Wok Catch

Tight Tractor

Been Lapped

Family Jewels

WalMart Math

RoostHair

Big Deluge Ahead

Pickup Park

A Woman's Hands

Bombay Tech Support

Hillbilly Tooth Fairy

Baked Tulips

Plane Restaurant

Office Cord Support

Mechanics Gone Wrong - Car Teeter Totter

Dear Crossing

Run Down Apartments

Lethal Weapon