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Redneck Car Repair

Bubba's window foam fix

Redneck Car Repair thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Redneck Car Repair thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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A window of opportunity won't open itself. - Dave Weinbaum

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade. - Tom Peters

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning. - Rodney Dangerfield

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. - Ani DiFranco

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in. - Alan Alda

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

We do not need to attend classroom training programs for everything. Observation opens the windows of knowledge around us. - Sukant Ratnakar

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. - Dale Carnegie

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

It was any outcast's nightmare. If I looked carefully, I suspected I might find it beneath the black paint of the small acrylic by the window. - Nancy Werlin

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


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