#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck DoorBells

How to contact your deer Redneck friend

Redneck DoorBells thanks to Roy Taylor

Redneck DoorBells thanks to Roy Taylor

Redneck DoorBells thanks to Roy Taylor

Redneck DoorBells thanks to Roy Taylor

No one ever rings Bubba's latest doorbell - at last, peace and quiet!

QuotaBills
If you want the girl next door, go next door. - Joan Crawford

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. - Unknown

Confidence is the hinge on the door to success. - Mary O'Hare Dumas

Opportunity may knock, but you must open the door. - Unknown

Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door. - Marcelene Cox

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. - Clarence Thomas

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. - Flora Whittemore

Shut the door will the 2 of yas, we're catchin' ammonia. - Archie Bunker

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. - Paul Beatty

Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before. - Joseph Campbell

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Unknown

Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight. - Harvey Milk

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. - Saul Bellow

The door that nobody else will go in at seems always to swing open widely for me. - Clara Barton

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Imagination, of course, can open any door - turn the key and let terror walk right in. - Truman Capote

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Don't let your dreams rust! Listen to your youthful bells ringing loud inside of you. - Bernard Kelvin Clive

The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments. - Thich Nhat Hanh

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William Blake

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park. - Dolly Parton

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath

Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb

I love Valentine's Day! I love it, I love it, I love it. I like having doors opened for me. - Ginnifer Goodwin

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

Happiness is something that comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open. - Rose Wilder Lane

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

You can spend your precious energy beating down closed doors, or you can choose the doors that open when you knock. - Unknown

When you're following your inner voice, doors tend to eventually open for you, even if they mostly slam at first. - Kelly Cutrone

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

Thirteen roadways lead through life
To thirteen doors of death,
Homeward from foolish fears and strife
We float on failing breath. - Tao

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. - Helen Keller


Bottom Dweller

Gene Lifeguard

Portable Shower

Cut-Off Deadline

Kid Disposal

Racing a 'Hot Rod'

Why Elk Have Long Antlers

Biting Shoes

Romanian Auto Safety

New Player

Hoser

Garden Gnome

Hotel Waterfall

Security Guard

Real FootBall

Burger King Street

SkeleChair

Eating Kaka

Dark Side Bus Stop

Escher Stairs

Dog Hair Coffee

Round Table

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

WinDoor