#1 humor site on the 'net

Sick Tombstone

Some warnings come too late

Sick Tombstone thanks to Dwayne Martin

QuotaBills
All who have died are equal. - Comanche Proverb

It is better to live rich than die rich. - Samuel Johnson

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. - Clyde Campbell

No operatic star has yet died soon enough for me. - Thomas Beecham

Ya look like one of those pall buriers at a funeral. - Archie Bunker

The only way you can become a legend is in your coffin. - Bette Davis

When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway. - John Wayne

If it weren't for the olive, I'd starve to death. - Unknown

Men must have legends, else they will die of strangeness. - Les A Murray

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown

To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. - J K Rowling

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death. - Omar Brailey

Only faith in Christ gives rise to a culture contrary to egotism and death. - Pope John Paul II

The past attracts me, the present frightens me, because the future is death. - Guy de Maupassant

Opera: where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings. - Robert Benchley

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. - P.J. O'Rourke

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain

It's better to die in pursuit of your dreams than to live a life without hope. - Terry Brooks

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow. - Mahatma Gandhi

There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction. - Salvador Dali

If you haven't found something you are willing to die for, you aren't fit to live. - Martin Luther King Jr.

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us. - Charles Bukowski

When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. - J.P. Donleavy

I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying. - Woody Allen

Live with fulfillment, serve with passion so in this lifetime you will have the abillity to die with no regrets. - Randy Gonzales

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine. - Jim Carrey

I am not afraid of death, which after all can't be far away. What does frighten me, though, is the halfway stage. - Rosie Thomas

The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where one ends, and the other begins? - Edgar Alan Poe

There comes a stage at which a man would rather die cleanly by a bullet than by the unknown terror of the phantom in the forest. - Tahir Shah

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

If you think that praise is due, now's the time to show it, 'cause a man can't read his tombstone when he's dead. - Unknown

Today is yesterday's victory, yesterday is tomorrow's conquest, and tomorrow is today's war. Though I face death, I am not fearsome. - Nad├Ęge Richards

Thirteen roadways lead through life
To thirteen doors of death,
Homeward from foolish fears and strife
We float on failing breath. - Tao

If I could be anything in the world I would want to be a teardrop because I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips. - Unknown


Quit Your Wining

Beef Teeth

Poor Fortune Cookie Message

Dance With Me

Redneck Fish Finder

Pepper Face

Better Than Concrete

Guaranteed Women Attraction

Rib Tickler

Spring Is In The Air

Safe Seat Belt

Leaf Surgery

Keyboard Running Shoes

Ten Miles Gallery

30th 'Pearl' Wedding Anniversary of Trudy and Joe Defries

Pickup Bartender

Tree Loft

Instant Antidepressant

Ukraine Skype

Who Lost The Keys?

Great White Socks

Master Chef Eggspert

Tire Trike

Pokemon Chasing