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Swine Flew

How to run away from the flu

Swine Flew thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

A dreaded disease is infilteratin' our home - Archie Bunker

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind. - Albert Einstein

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

We have to live our lives as if we are dying of a fatal disease. Because we are. - Phineas Narco

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a madhouse. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

If he don't go calling the cops “pigs” or one of those other epilets, he'll be all right. - Archie Bunker

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

I know runners who have suffered a tick bite and ended up with Lyme disease. I'll take an angry moose any day. - Don Kardong

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Alzheimer's disease starts when a protein that should be folded up properly misfolds into a kind of demented origami. - Gregory Petsko

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin


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