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Swine Flew

How to run away from the flu

Swine Flew thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

Astrology is a disease, not a science. - Maimonides

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. - Unknown

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine. - Irwin Edman

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but the feeling of being unwanted. - Mother Teresa

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

As it takes two to make a quarrel, so it takes two to make a disease, the microbe and its host. - Charles V. Chapin

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a madhouse. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

If he don't go calling the cops “pigs” or one of those other epilets, he'll be all right. - Archie Bunker

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

I know runners who have suffered a tick bite and ended up with Lyme disease. I'll take an angry moose any day. - Don Kardong

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Hastiness and superficiality are the psychic diseases of the 20th century, and more than anywhere else this disease is reflected in the press. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin


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