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Swine Flew

How to run away from the flu

Swine Flew thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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In a pig's dye - Archie Bunker

Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb

Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

A dreaded disease is infilteratin' our home - Archie Bunker

When you treat a disease, first treat the mind. - Chen Jen

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Love is the only disease that makes you feel better. - Sam Shepard

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

We have to live our lives as if we are dying of a fatal disease. Because we are. - Phineas Narco

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Not enough people know what Lyme disease is and the dangers of being bitten by an insect. - Gigi Hadid

As it takes two to make a quarrel, so it takes two to make a disease, the microbe and its host. - Charles V. Chapin

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

I think I have a disease called spontaneous disclosure. I need to tell everyone my life story instantaneously. - Kelly Ripa

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer


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