#1 humor site on the 'net

Vacation At Last

When you know it's time for a holiday

Vacation At Last thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Laughter is an instant vacation. - Milton Berle

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester

Valentine's Day is the poet's holiday. - Ted Kooser

Pessimism is the triumph of worry over matter. - Unknown

Worry is today's mice nibbling on tomorrow's cheese. - Unknown

I try not to worry about things I can't do anything about. - Christopher Walken

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

Smile. It will bring serenity to the most stressful situations. - Garnet Hill

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist - except an old optimist. - Mark Twain

Pessimists are not boring. Pessimists are right. Pessimists are superfluous. - Elias Canetti

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment. - Dale Carnegie

In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. - Jonathan Katz

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. - Robert Frost

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. - Benjamin Franklin

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

In the long run, the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. - Unknown

Pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; it reproduces itself by crippling our willingness to act. - Howard Zinn

A man of character does not expect to be liked by everyone, nor does he worry about being liked by anyone. - Unknown

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. - Winston Churchill

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. - Robert Benchley

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine. - Jim Carrey

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. - Bill Vaughan

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are. - David Letterman

My Dad once said, "you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did." - Dr. Phil McGraw

Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. - Jonathan Clements

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be. - Paul Harvey

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep. - Dale Carnegie

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. - Joe-kster

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep. - Dale Carnegie


Turbo Charged Computer

Redneck Neighborhood Watch

Time To Hang Up The Thong

Our Grate Lord

Vertical Roller Coaster Ride

Girl's Party

Sleep Driving

Portuguese Airport Runway

Nintendo Wedding Cake

Going Nowhere Mall

Skateboard Suit

Texas Truck

Tailgate Coyote

Montreal Canadian Fan

Canadian Man Cave

Puffin Walk

Wine Gum Lamp

Stepladder Bike

Prison Escapee's Not-Quite-Clean Escape

Heh - That's My Ball!

Revenue Canada's Simplified Tax Form

Canadian Restroom Rules

Clever Man

Circular Residences - Roundabout Directions