#1 humor site on the 'net

Woman Sharpshooter

Bubba's women are over-powering

Woman Sharpshooter thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown

Aim high and you won’t shoot your foot off. - Phyllis Diller

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin

When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target. - George Fisher

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

You can't hit a target you cannot see, and you cannot see a target you do not have. - Zig Ziglar

While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump

Attitude is everything - shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars. - Les Brown

Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded. - Tyne Daly

I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. - Bjarne Stroustrup

I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield

I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan


Bird Plane

At Home Grave

Stern Warning - a Not Yacht

No Shooting

Does Your Dog Look Unusual?

Golf Like I Do

Surreal Cubist

Transparent Touch Calculator

Young Piper

Escher Dilemma

Apple Watch

Obesity Is OK

Eye Like It

CensorShip

Boatload Interception

Canadian Kiss

Eiffel Tower Crane

Alice In Hulaland

Museum Charge

ManHole

Unstable Ladder

Aussie Hot Tub

Vinyl Siding

Rethink Your Drink