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Waist not, want not!

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Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can never be too rich or too thin. - Wallis W Simpson

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

When healthy competition prevails - you come out to play and you play to win. - Lorii Myers

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thin in art: the thing you cannot explain. - Georges Braque

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus


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