#1 humor site on the 'net

Billionaire Thoughts

Charter members of the 'Get Rich Quick Club'

Billionaire Thoughts thanks to Bill Fast

Billionaire Thoughts thanks to Bill Fast

Billionaire Thoughts thanks to Bill Fast

QuotaBills
Money: the poor man's credit card. - Marshal McLuhan

A fool and his money are soon partying. - Steven Wright

The rich are different - they have more money. - Ernest Hemingway

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart. - WC Fields

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

Being rich is having money, being wealthy is having time. - Stephen Swid

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

I'd like to live like a poor man, only with lots of money. - Pablo Picasso

Enjoy money while you have it. Shrouds don't have pockets. - Virginia Esberg

What's breaking into a bank compared with founding a bank? - Bertolt Brecht

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. - J Paul Getty

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. - Steven Wright

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Business? It's quite simple. It's other people's money. - Alexandre Dumas

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy. - Miles Kington

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money. - Will Rogers

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Money can't buy you friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. - Spike Milligan

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

The first rule is not to lose money. The second rule is not to forget the first rule. - Warren Buffet

It's not the cost of the book. It's what it may cost you not to buy and read it. - Jim Rohn

Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. - David Letterman

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

Life is like a bank account. You must put something in it in order for you to take anything out. - Joe Segal

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. - H L Mencken

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money. - Marlon Brando

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. - Ogden Nash

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one. - Homer Simpson

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

I'm always interested in finding the new trend. If you love pizza every day, after 22 years of eating pizza, you want to try sushi. - Jean Pigozzi

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't need to advertise it. - Will Rogers


Morning Paper

Diabetes Medication

India Plumbers

How To Prevent Cheating

Worst Job in the Army

Time Management

Melted Dog

Bible Bar

Shower Dog

Scottish Choices

Is Lunch Ready?

Food Bank Closure

Breakfast In Bed

'Turn Me Over' Pickup

Ice Cream Thief

Chocolate Bed

Uplifting Church

Touchy Subject

It's A Keeper

Horse Hearse

No Pit Stop Car

Street Cleaning in China

Absolutely Nothing

Flower Drums