#1 humor site on the 'net

Global Worming

Greenhouse effect pops up throughout Europe

Global Worming thanks to Mel Hardman

QuotaBills
Into the sky to win or die. - Christopher Paolini

Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

The sky already fell. Now what? - Steven Wright

The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

Grey skies are just clouds passing over. - Duke Ellington

I started out as a gaseous cloud. Then I cooled. - Jack Nicholson

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glow-worm. - Winston Churchill

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

I only have two passions: space exploration and hip hop. - Buzz Aldrin

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

Alone and warming his five wits, the white owl in the belfry sits. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn't have a space program. - Larry Niven

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

I have to dream and reach for the stars, and if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds. - Mike Tyson

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out. - Zig Ziglar

The way you can understand all of the social media is as the creation of a new kind of public space. - Danah Boyd

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

The visions are fragmented and a dark cloud spreads like spilt ink across the pages of possible futures. - Garth Nix

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. - John Glenn

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

A cloudy day or a little sunshine have as great an influence on many constitutions as the most recent blessings or misfortunes. - Joseph Addison

It's better to look at the sky than live there. Such an empty place; so vague. Just a country where the thunder goes and things disappear. - Truman Capote

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


Size Matters

Leadership Skills

Bottom Dweller

Gene Lifeguard

Portable Shower

Cut-Off Deadline

Kid Disposal

Racing a 'Hot Rod'

Why Elk Have Long Antlers

Biting Shoes

Romanian Auto Safety

New Player

Hoser

Garden Gnome

Hotel Waterfall

Security Guard

Real FootBall

Burger King Street

SkeleChair

Eating Kaka

Dark Side Bus Stop

Escher Stairs

Dog Hair Coffee

Round Table