#1 humor site on the 'net

Hotel Waterfall

Who left the tap running?

Hotel Waterfall thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. - Joseph Campbell

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Costco Wine

Downer Parking

Baconurkey

Camel Herders of the 21st Century

Redneck Palm Pilot

Turkey Day Selfie

Spool Turkey

Meal Alert

Turkey Not

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork

Going Cold Turkey

Bacon Turkey

Run, Turkey, Run

Biggest Turkeys

Turkish Architecture

Ghost Food

Turkey Weather Forecast

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Redneck Car Upgrade

Box Fill Overload

Hiding Horse

Traffic Jam Intersection

Re-Cycled Beef