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Looking Small

How to downsize your spouse

Looking Small thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Looking Small thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. - Paul Keating

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs. - Henry Ford

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. - Henry David Thoreau

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

A spouse or partner should enhance your life, not be your life; your life is your own. - Sukhi Burgen

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

When opportunity knocks, some people are in the backyard looking for four-leaf clovers. - Polish Proverb

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Happiness hides in life's small details. If you're not looking, it becomes invisible. - Joyce Brothers

Chair pose is a defiance of spirit, showing how high you can reach even when you're forced down. - Unknown

Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized. - Margaret Atwood

A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing and that's all you'll ever find." - Robert J. Flaherty

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling. - Robert M Pirsig

Fairies have to be one thing or the other, because being so small they unfortunately have room for one feeling only at a time. - J.M. Barrie

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Unknown

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

It was any outcast's nightmare. If I looked carefully, I suspected I might find it beneath the black paint of the small acrylic by the window. - Nancy Werlin

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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