#1 humor site on the 'net

Manitoba Cold

This sums up Manitoba's weather this week

Manitoba Cold thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Into the sky to win or die. - Christopher Paolini

The sky already fell. Now what? - Steven Wright

Every cloud has a silver lining. - Proverb

The brain is wider than the sky. - Emily Dickinson

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Revenge is a dish best served cold. - Italian Proverb

Grey skies are just clouds passing over. - Duke Ellington

Knock on the sky and listen to the sound. - Zen Saying

Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. - Maya Angelou

I started out as a gaseous cloud. Then I cooled. - Jack Nicholson

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

Was the ground cold when you crawled out this morning? - Henny Youngman

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

I should rather men ask why no statue has been erected in my honour, than why one has. - Marcus Porcius Cato

The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf. - Mark Twain

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

The audience, upon learning that the real Buffalo Bill was present, gave several cheers between the acts. - Buffalo Bill

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

Economies of scale are a good thing. If we didn't have them, we'd still be living in tents and eating buffalo. - Jamie Dimon

That black cloud is coming from the direction the wind is blowing, now the wind is coming from where the black cloud is. - Ray Illingworth

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


Squirrel Gymnast

Economic Stimulation

Financial Meltdown

Redneck Tailgate

Marital Rating Chart - Wife

Mona Lisa - Behind The Scenes

Cultivator

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman

TP Safety

Crochet Shorts

Wine Bottle Recycling

Garden Outhouse

Alberta Winter Fridge

Wheelbarrow Wheelies

Redneck Deer Stand

Bucket Seat

Security Camera Setup

Smithton Stoneys

Hearse Parking

Just Saying Goodbye

Golden End of the Rainbow

Redneck Shower

Thank You For Driving

Debbie's Fridge