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Summer in Saskatchewan thanks to Scott Secord

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I get to go to overseas places, like Canada. - Britney Spears

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Canada has two emblems - the beaver and the maple. - John W. Dawson

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party. - Craig Ferguson

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad. - Arnold Edinborough

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Canada is the only country founded on the relentless pursuit of the rodent. - Preston Manning

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. - Warren Buffet

Canada is the only country in the world that knows how to live without an identity. - Marshall McLuhan

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

A statistician can have his head in the oven and his feet in ice, and on average he feels fine. - Unknown

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder


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