#1 humor site on the 'net

Whose Problem

Who are you going to call - a plumber or electrician?

Whose Problem thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

A man in the house is worth two in the street. - Mae West

He'd go through the house like Typhoon Mary. - Archie Bunker

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. - WC Fields

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan


Ponge Bob

Bright Bookshelf

Let That Sink In

Lifting Heavy Objects

Black Friday Scam

Camel Photobomb

Leaky Pipes

Teabucks

CreepEye

Open For Business

Face Frost

Sleeping Guests

Garmin Drive

This Rocks

The Fall Of Adam

Canadian Archaeology

Unknown Assailant

Undergarment Financing

Shear Dog

Facebook Africa

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Tomato Treat

Evaluating Something

Cat Milk