#1 humor site on the 'net

Whose Problem

Who are you going to call - a plumber or electrician?

Whose Problem thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

With great power comes great electricity bill. - Unknown

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland

Electricity is really just organized lightning. - George Carlin

He'd go through the house like Typhoon Mary. - Archie Bunker

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. - Jay Leno

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. - Robin Williams

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Enthusiasm is the electricity of life. How do you get it? You act enthusiastic until you make it a habit. - Gordon Parks

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is not more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules Poincare

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin


Legal Assistance For All

Chinese Law School

Do Not Stack

Stairway Chute

Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain