#1 humor site on the 'net

Amish Smart Car

World's 1st hybrid Smart Car

Amish Smart Car thanks to Keith Blake

'Going Green' in Lancaster, Pennsylvania

QuotaBills
I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Use a little of your horse's sense. - Archie Bunker

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers


Critter Control

Redneck Ice Fishing

Skeletons In The Closet

Captive Audience Twins

Brew Table

Nailed It Baby

Water Supply

Holding His Own Portraits

Hawaii Scuba Bus

Chicken Pie

Computer Challenged

Swiss Reaper

Original Play Station

Haunted Pancakes

No Neck

Five Pound Note

Selena Stopmez

AirHeads

Redneck Power Windows

Race Break

Mirror Fence

Look Both Ways

No-iPhone Kids

Dog Haircut