#1 humor site on the 'net

Attentive Student

How to relax during a boring lecture

Attentive Student thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
I'll sleep when I'm dead. - Warren Zevon

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in. - Evan Davis

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Dilemma of a student: Should I finish my homework or sleep? - Unknown

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

I want people to think through issues. I'm just tired of blind alignment. - Joel Salatin

Plough deep while sluggards sleep, and you shall have corn to sell and to keep. - Benjamin Franklin

The number one job facing the middle class... a three-letter word, jobs, J-O-B-S. - Joe Biden

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know? - Ernest Hemingway

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

The middle class. Since when in America do we have classes? That's Marxism talk. - Rick Santorum

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class. - David Coleman

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn. - Mahatma Gandhi

Bound by paperwork, short on hands, sleep, and energy... nurses are rarely short on caring. - Sharon Hudacek

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Life is a classroom. Only those who are willing to be lifelong learners will move to the head of the class. - Zig Ziglar

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Sometimes I feel like a groundhog. I wish that every time I saw my workplace I could just go down the hole and go off to sleep. - Sherry Bane

Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation; and this means we must develop a world perspective. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people. - Donald Trump

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

When any young student asks me, "Do you think I should be a dancer?" I always say, "If you have to ask, then the answer is no." - Martha Graham

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


Tea Party Weapon

Reading Talent

ParaPlane Ride

iArm

Instant Engine Starting Down Under

Shakespeare Pens

Car-nage

Drum Kit Chandelier

Standoff

New Man Group

Octopus Skateboarding

Sling Signs

Beauty Bag

Dodgy Ticker

Orcar

Eastwooding

Sandal Security

Folding Bike

Ladies Golf

Mommy's Diet

Goat Trick

Why The Dog Left

Sex Education in Saskatchewan

Unattended Children