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Bath Laugh

When he wants a bath he gets a bath

Bath Laugh thanks to Keith Blake

My, what big teeth you have!

How often do you water down your pet hyena?
QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath. - Sylvia Plath

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp. - Robin Williams

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. - Zig Ziglar

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


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