#1 humor site on the 'net

Bath Laugh

When he wants a bath he gets a bath

Bath Laugh thanks to Keith Blake

My, what big teeth you have!

How often do you water down your pet hyena?

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp. - Robin Williams

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you. - Mae West

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. - Zig Ziglar

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis. - Zig Ziglar

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Clever Man

Circular Residences - Roundabout Directions

Chicago Bears Win Stanley Cup

Loch-Risti Weather Forecasting Stone

Skateboarding Duck

Hospital Gown Insurance

Mobile Swamp Home

Spring Rolls

Circle Stroke Bikes

Sad TP

Concrete Guestrooms

Spiderman Face Cup

Tick, Tick Good Buddy

Waterfront Icons

Redneck Backhoe Operator

Shanty Town, New Zealand - Potty Pic

Modern Love Affair

Sleepmobile

Osoyoos Sasquatch

Wal-Mart Job Application

Wired Cars

Limit Of Two

Facebook Red Light

Suspended Bedroom