#1 humor site on the 'net

Beaver Stretching

It's a Canadian thing, eh!

Beaver Stretching thanks to Marian Renstrom

QuotaBills
Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

Canada first, Canada last, Canada always. - Wilfrid Laurier

A roof stretching over the Atlantic Ocean. - Ernest Bevin

I get to go to overseas places, like Canada. - Britney Spears

I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone

Canada has two emblems - the beaver and the maple. - John W. Dawson

Canada has always been there to help people who need it. - Justin Trudeau

I grew up working in Canada so everything was low budget. - Ellen Page

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party. - Craig Ferguson

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

I've only been to these foreign countries: Canada, L.A. and Miami. - Larry the Cable Guy

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

Canada is the only country founded on the relentless pursuit of the rodent. - Preston Manning

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

Canada is the only country in the world that knows how to live without an identity. - Marshall McLuhan

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective. - Paul Anka

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

South Africa is the most beautiful country I have been to. Canada is also hugely underrated. - Honor Blackman

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada? - Sarah Vowell

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

Trudeau's contribution was not to build Canada but to destroy it, and I had to come in and save it. - Brian Mulroney

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Canada is a balloon-puncturing country. You are not really allowed to be an icon unless you also make an idiot of yourself. - Margaret Atwood

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas


Octopus Pasta

No Separation

Zombie Mug

What A Radical

Bacon My Heart

Aussie Drinkers

How a Tangerine Is Made

For Lazy Shoppers

Wildlife Photographer

Wi-Fi Neighbour

Walker Safety

Greatest Daughter

Sourtoe Cocktail

Ogre Tree

Dog Pot Nap

Shame On All You Hunters

Names of the Colours

Waterfront Dining

Chinese Take Away

Revenge of the Stallion

Learning To 'Fly'

Legal Grounds

New Deer Rifle

Sushi To Go