#1 humor site on the 'net

'Do Not Read' Sign

Where even the sign is private

'Do Not Read' Sign thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
I do not seek, I find. - Pablo Picasso

Do or do not. There is no try. - Yoda

Do not employ handsome servants. - Chinese Proverb

Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

Do not let your fears choose your destiny. - Unknown

What I cannot create, I do not understand. - Richard Feynman

What luck for the rulers that men do not think. - Adolf Hitler

Every man's memory is his private literature. - Aldous Huxley

People do not retire. They are retired by others. - Duke Ellington

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

We learn from history that we do not learn from history. - Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

What is faith unless it is to believe what you do not see? - St. Augustine

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing. - Salvador Dali

Do not read beauty magazines. They only make you feel ugly. - Mary Schmich

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

Do not say a little in many words but a great deal in a few. - Pythagorus

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

Desire nothing for yourself, which you do not desire for others. - Spinoza

Men do not shape destiny. Destiny produces the man for the hour. - Fidel Castro

I do not want horses or diamonds - I am happy in possessing you. - Clara Schumann

Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss's job. - Unknown

The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page. - St. Augustine

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us all without words? - Marcel Marceau

Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking. - William B. Sprague

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

If we do not plant knowledge when young, it will give us no shade when we are old. - Lord Chesterfield

Do not hire a man who does your work for money, but him who does it for love of it. - Henry David Thoreau

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire

Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe it anyway. - Elbert Hubbard

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. - Oliver W. Holmes

Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel. - Unknown

Do not correct a fool or he will hate you. Correct a wise man and he will appreciate you. - Unknown

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank him for not having given it wings. - Indian Proverb

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

Do not allow people to dim your shine because they are blinded. Tell them to put on some sunglasses. - Lady Gaga

In Moscow they do not pay much attention to the living but keep their cemeteries in a splendid state. - George Mikes

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

We read that we ought to forgive our enemies; but we do not read that we ought to forgive our friends. - Cosimo de Medici

Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself any more. - Albert Einstein

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget. - Thomas Szasz

I do not ask for any crown but that which all may win; nor try to conquer any world except the one within. - Louisa May Alcott

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

Men of genius do not excel in any profession because they labor in it, but they labor in it because they excel. - William Hazlitt

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history. - Aldous Huxley

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Calvin

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not mean his maker, but himself. - William R Inge

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Do not attempt to do a thing unless you are sure of yourself, but do not relinquish it simply because someone else is not sure of you. - Stewart E. White

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Bible

Do not train boys to learning by force and harshness, but lead them by what amuses them, so that they may better discover the bent of their minds. - Plato


Security Camera Setup

Smithton Stoneys

Hearse Parking

Just Saying Goodbye

Golden End of the Rainbow

Redneck Shower

Thank You For Driving

Debbie's Fridge

Just Be Ugly

Ex-Benedict

Scubaru

Irish Handcuffs

Irish Flu Shots

Wee Shamrock

Irish Flood

Truck Art

Going Green for Ireland

Queen's Recent Visit to Ireland

Garage Watchdog

Front and Back Beetle

Mac Mailbox

What's That Smell?

Bolt Cutter Man

Table Kids