#1 humor site on the 'net

Fishing Trip in New Zealand

Planning your next 'Down Under' fishing charter

I've been googling prices on air fares to New Zealand in July for a week-long deep sea fishing trip in the Southern Ocean on a deep sea boat. I must get 30 starters for the week on the boat to qualify for a good deal. I spoke with a fishing charter business operator yesterday about spending a week on the high seas, and he said the best fishing is in July. Since the earthquake, everything is half price - with all fishing gear supplied free. The vessel sleeps 30 comfortably, has a full time cook, separate lounge and dining room, 24 hour bar service, TV, Foxtel and all the amenities (b.y.o. grog). Promotional fishing trip photos supplied below.

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Limited seats available - Waiting on your reply. Don't see anybody on the deck? They must be inside having a drink and sampling the fantastic food!

QuotaBills
All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Up the creek in a boat with a hole. - Archie Bunker

You're gonna need a bigger boat. - Jaws

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Shells sink,
Dreams float,
Life's good
On our boat. - Jimmy Buffet

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink. - Shunryi Suzuki-roshi

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

When you get on the boat that's saving you, don't pull up the ladder behind you. - Adrienne Clarkson

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean. - Anna Freud

Those who have one foot in the canoe and one foot in the boat are going to fall into the river. - Tuscarora Proverb

To say my fate is not tied to your fate is like saying, "Your end of the boat is sinking." - Hugh Downs

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Grass Room

Row Your Goat

Moment Just Before Being Soaked... @ T - 1

Bridge Claimed Another One

Woman-Riding Man

Thin Polar Bear

Hand Tool

Rainbow Beer

They Found Your Balls

Giraffe Pet

Hard Working Cop

Cattle Herding in Africa

Dutch Cowboy

How Bachelors Kill Moths

Tonsil Ring

Portrait Gallery

Piano Dog

The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day