#1 humor site on the 'net

Flamingo Imposter

Getting in on the action

Flamingo Imposter thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

Birds of a feather flock together. - English Proverb

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

Heavenly bodies are nests of invisible birds. - Dejan Stojanovic

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses. - Dale Carnegie

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne


Canadian Kiss

Eiffel Tower Crane

Alice In Hulaland

Museum Charge

ManHole

Unstable Ladder

Aussie Hot Tub

Vinyl Siding

Rethink Your Drink

Brewery Motorcycle

Pothole Lifeguard

How Russians Play Chess

French Army Knife

Just Lettuce Know

First Shipment

Stretch Jeep

Sea Of Life

Jet Nozzles

How To Fix Any Computer

House Rules

Science Fiction Recipes

How Mad Is She?

Fool Proof Lighting

Hung Out To Dry Dogs