#1 humor site on the 'net

Hawaiian Surfboard Trade

Why some relationships end up on the rocks

Hawaiian Surfboard Trade thanks to joe-kster

Board: The fibreglass thingy under your feet

Hawaiian Surfboard Trade thanks to joe-kster

QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

The magic of Hawaii comes from the stillness, the sea, the stars. - Joanne Harris

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


Big Hands Baby

Fire Truck Sinkhole

Cyclist Mailbox

Tearable Puns

Penmanship

Tree Removal

I Sea Drums

Statue of Libertea

Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner Burrito

Cow Photobomb

Commas Save Lives

Never Give Up

Girl Sitting or Boy Hugging?

The Domino's Effect

Outdoor Pool

Wedding Pound Cake

Fear Of Light

Maiden Rock Illusion

Why Men Shouldn't Babysit

Noodle Art

Windows Scoreboard

Mummy Dogs

Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet

Media Bondage