#1 humor site on the 'net

Hippo Toothbrush

A wire brush works best for cleaning teeth without toothpaste

Hippo Toothbrush thanks to Keith Blake

When a dental hygienist cleans animal teeth

QuotaBills
Keep calm and floss on. - Unknown

Teeth are always in style. - Unknown

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. - Ogden Nash

Too much freedom can lead to the soul's decay. - Prince

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. - William R. Alger

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

You're going to the cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian. - Robin Williams

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen

I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby

When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney

Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer

The best and cheapest dentistry is when the right thing is done extremely well the first time and it lasts. - Unknown

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

I travel without barely any luggage. Just a second set of underwear and binoculars and a map and a toothbrush. - Werner Herzog

I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman

The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. - Thomas Overbury

All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

The greatest thing about man is his ability to transcend himself, his ancestry and his environment and to become what he dreams of being. - Tully C. Knoles

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz


Politician Training

Math in Africa

Customers Wanted

Sock Storage

Hung Out To Dry

Need More Horsepower?

Japanese Diving Platform

Water Taxi

Wrench Family

How To Burn Fat

Ghetto Boat

Car Surgeon

Just Blew It

His Dent

Cheat of the Year

Divorce Defined

Paint Ladder

Peopledarin

Frozen Pipes in the Garage

Attentive Student

Corgi Snow Height

FishSun - Touching The Sun

SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Bach To Front