#1 humor site on the 'net

Looking For Something?

Something smells good at the zoo

Looking For Something? thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Women should be obscene and not heard. - Groucho Marx

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. - Kathy Lette

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

Taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic. - Rosalind Russell

As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself. - Mae West

I love men, not because they are men, but because they are not women. - Queen Christina of Sweden

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde

In every difficult situation is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it. - Norman Vincent Peale

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

You may be right
I may be crazy.
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for. - Billy Joel

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. - Rush Limbaugh

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. - Francesca M. Cancian

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera

I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the face of devastating reality. - Fionnula Flanagan

I like reading, I like boring things, and yet I think people for ages had this image of me that I was on the tube with a chainsaw looking for any likely candidate. - Jo Brand


Centennial Puff

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Redneck Hitch Attachment

Texas Rims

Window Fall Repair

Louvre Paintings

Parking Spot For Women

Generations Past And Present

Jumping The Gun

New Speed Trap

Window Cleaning in New York

Welcome Beer Mat

Mr. Dressup II

Puppy Special

Breast Cancer Cure

Who Needs Physics?

Bach Scratching

OCD Cookie Jar

Dwarf Plane Pull

Fire Truck

When Not To Stop Too Fast

Cruise Ship Trailer

Lunar Powered Sailing

Hawg'n The Road