#1 humor site on the 'net

Made His Bed

A foam mattress without the foam

Made His Bed thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Some beds are better without springs in them

When fluffy is too stuffy

QuotaBills
Do it big or stay in bed. - Larry Kelly

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

A revolution is not a bed of roses. - Fidel Castro

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

I'm good in bed. I can sleep all day. - Unknown

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

He who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed. - Robert Gronock

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise. - Ted Turner

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

It's great to get up in the morning, but nicer to lie in bed. - Unknown

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

If it weren't for the rocks in its bed, the stream would have no song. - Carl Perkins

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of. - Unknown

Love melts the rigor which the rocks have bred; a flint will break upon a feather bed. - John Cleveland

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Can You See It?

Bird Chocolate

Keyboard Seating

Griller Bees

Dock Giraffe

My Mom's The Best

Morse Code Portrait Illusion

Guarded Nights

Redneck Hummer

THIRTEEN

Sea Girl

Lord Of The Fries

Wannabe Mini

Fish Bowl Cleaner

Marital Rating Chart - Husband

Advantage of an Extra Long Straw

Squirrel Gymnast

Economic Stimulation

Financial Meltdown

Redneck Tailgate

Marital Rating Chart - Wife

Mona Lisa - Behind The Scenes

Cultivator