#1 humor site on the 'net

Meat Loaf

Meat Loaf's suntan recipe

Meat Loaf thanks to Mel Hardman

Meet Meat Loaf

QuotaBills
Bacon is meat candy. - Unknown

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

My favorite animal is steak. - Fran Lebowitz

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Medicines are not meat to live by. - German proverb

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

I don't eat sushi, but I eat cooked meat. - Drake Bell

One man's meat is another man's poison. - Lucretius

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. - Chinese Proverb

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer. - William S. Burroughs

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians, except for the occasional mountain lion steak. - Ted Nugent

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writer's block. - Ellen Hopkins

O beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on. - William Shakespeare

I never practice my guitar... from time to time I just open the case and throw in a piece of raw meat. - Wes Montgomery

When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other. - Chinese Proverb

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. - Erma Bombeck

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Yoga is invigoration in relaxation. Freedom in routine. Confidence through self control. Energy within and energy without. - Ymber Delecto

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

A good plate of sushi after an opening helps to soothe that post-opening blues - especially since you feel like raw meat yourself. - Jim Drain

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing. - William Arthur Ward

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster

Personal columnists are jackals and no jackal has been known to live on grass once he had learned about meat - no matter who killed the meat for him. - Ernest Hemingway


Lecture Meal

Tornado House

This Is A Window

Cut Weight

Forever Round

All Mine

Bottle Support

Falls Trail Tree

Going Green

Ukrainian Model T

Fencing Down Under

Croc Diet

Pulley Car

Hotel Annex

Beetle Collection

Egg Timer

Shell Sink

Wicked Wok Catch

Tight Tractor

Been Lapped

Family Jewels

WalMart Math

RoostHair

Big Deluge Ahead