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Moses As A Lifeguard

Parting the waters ahead of his time

Moses As A Lifeguard thanks to Mel Hardman

First came Homer Simpson off the high diving platform

Moses As A Lifeguard thanks to Mel Hardman

... and the next casualty was the Joe-kster

QuotaBills
My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

For every Pharoah there is a Moses. - Idries Shah

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

The more wonderful the meeting, the sadder the parting. - Pokemon

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

While waiting for a Moses to lead us into the promised land, we have forgotten how to walk. - Wendell Johnson

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. - Mark Twain

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

He who begins with Metaphysics will not only become confused in matters of religion, but will fall into complete infidelity. - Maimonides

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy


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Almost Done