#1 humor site on the 'net

My Next Life

Why Woody Allen wants to live backwards

My Next Life thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato


Redneck Repair Kit

5th Beatle

Redneck Wine Rack

Domino Telephone Booths

Saudi Paddleboarders

Extreme Littering

British Hairways

With Or Without The Beatles

How To Improve Your Car's Radio Reception

Stop And Smell The Flowers

Night Watch

Leg Works

Laws Of Physics For Goats

Saskatchewan Roads

Join Me For A Swim

The Netherlands Canadian Tulip

Good To The Last Drop

Why Bearded Men Never Shave

Keep Right

Check Coffee Level

Stop-tional Sign

Ultimate Selfie Stick

Poacher ID

Military Cuts Have Gone Too Far