#1 humor site on the 'net

Sailing Duck

When a duck takes a ferry crossing

Sailing Duck thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Birds of a feather flock together. - English Proverb

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

My drinking team has a sailing problem. - Unknown

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. - English Proverb

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

Who is staring at the sea is already sailing a little. - Paul Carvel

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Love is not only the story of butterflies or birds; it is also the story of jackals and hounds. - M.F. Moonzajer

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg

One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses. - Dale Carnegie

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

A male frigate bird blows up a wild red pouch on his neck. He can keep it puffed up for hours. It is his way of impressing the girls. - Julie Murphy

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin


Legal Assistance For All

Chinese Law School

Do Not Stack

Stairway Chute

Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain