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Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

Putting the fun back in traffic citations

Scratch-Off Parking Tickets thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Winners train, losers complain. - Unknown

Winners plan, prepare, and expect to win. - Zig Ziglar

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

A winner never quits, and a quitter never wins. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

The only thing greater than a good loser is a humble winner. - Unknown

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Failures do what is tension relieving, while winners do what is goal achieving. - Dennis Waitley

If you don't see yourself as a winner, then you cannot perform as a winner. - Zig Ziglar

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success. - Unknown

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody. - Richard M Nixon

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Winners lose much more often than losers. So if you keep losing but you're still trying, keep it up! You're right on track. - Matthew Keith Groves

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


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