#1 humor site on the 'net

Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

Putting the fun back in traffic citations

Scratch-Off Parking Tickets thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Winners train, losers complain. - Unknown

Winners never quit, quitters never win. - Vince Lombardi

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. - Ogden Nash

Only the winners decide what were war crimes. - Gary Wills

A winner never quits, and a quitter never wins. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

Everybody falls, but only winners get back on their feet. - Unknown

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

The only thing greater than a good loser is a humble winner. - Unknown

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

Winners in life don't always win; they just don't give up. - Unknown

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright

Failures do what is tension relieving, while winners do what is goal achieving. - Dennis Waitley

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success. - Unknown

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody. - Richard M Nixon

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate. - Donald Trump

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Easter Style Stars

Jewrusalem

Easter Math

Easter Lost

Cold Easter in Europe

Jerusalem Obituary, 33 A.D.

Ottawa Senators Announcement

The Crucifixion

Driveway With A View

Reformed Buddhists

Coin Shopping

SwarchenEgger

Lighthouse Safety

First Signs Of Spring

Easter Sepulcher

Back-lash

Find 11 Faces

Redneck Electric Pool

Hokey Pokey Addict

Tired Of Snow

Moving Dot Illusion

Lehman Brothers Protest

Crowd Surfing - Expert Level

Pipeline Protesters